It’s March already – that’s 17% of the year nearly gone! Can someone please tell me exactly where has it gone?
I’m
sure you’ve heard that most New Year’s resolutions don’t survive beyond the end
of February – if they even make it that far!
And
if you did happen to map out the “perfect” year and schedule all the activities
that will lead to your big annual goals, how are you going with finding the
time and energy to do it all?
And
if perhaps you’re not doing too well along that path, are you beating yourself
up for it? The pressure to map out the perfect year can actually lead to
greater anxiety.
I’m
a huge advocate in planning and goal setting - but can you do too much of it?
I’m coming to the conclusion that you can actually overdo it.
So
many of the goals we set are goals around having or doing things. You might be
reflecting on the first 2 months of the year and saying to yourself, “I
certainly got a lot done, but what’s it all for?
It’s
around about this time that you might also start asking yourself “What’s my
higher calling?”, “What am I supposed to
be doing with my life?” and “How do I stop spinning my wheels and get serious
about my purpose for being on this planet?”
The
more relevant question is actually “Who am I meant to BE?”
Or
you might already feel you have found your answers and no longer have to worry
about the burning “What’s my purpose?” question. But here’s the irony…when our
purpose is external to ourselves, if we tie our purpose or meaning to our
vocation, goal or an activity, we could be setting ourselves up for a fall
somewhere down the line.
This
doesn’t negate your burning passion, your inspired mission, your job, your
business, your family, your community contribution, etc. Those things are
powerful, worthwhile and essential - but are they your purpose?
Let
me explain…
I’m
certainly not saying that you shouldn’t feed the starving, house the homeless,
rescue those at risk, protect the environment, empower women, educate the
ignorant or any other worthwhile activity that adds worth and value to our
global community.
What
I do mean is that you don’t need to connect your personal self-worth (or
self-acceptance, self-love etc.) with those activities. It’s because your
self-worth has nothing to do with your skills, vocation or achievements and
everything to do with how you treat yourself. Your purpose may be very
different than what you’ve been taught to believe by societal programming and
inherited paradigms.
If
your work isn’t appreciated, if your efforts are overlooked or criticised, if
you don’t get the client, if people don’t value what you do, if you give and
don’t get thanked in return, if someone “un-friends” you on social media –
well, that’s what sometimes happens. And if you’ve tied your worth to any of
those things then you will only feel deflated, depleted or depressed.
But
if you have connected your purpose within, it’s a whole different story. For
example, it could be that your purpose is to be kind to yourself and to love
yourself unconditionally, thus elevating your energy and positively impacting
on the world around you. Or it could be to take impeccable care of yourself so
that you have the energy to serve others.
Or
perhaps it’s to heal yourself and then becoming a mentor and role model for
others to do the same.
Your
purpose is only partly about what you do. It’s mostly about discovering who you
truly are at your deepest levels, and to nurture and love yourself in the
process. It’s about learning that just being your authentic self is enough.
Full
stop.
There
are plenty of brilliant people who may have a lot to offer but who are messed
up inside and unable to be really effective at their chosen cause. Imagine what
they could accomplish if they knew that no matter how important their mission,
their inner purpose matters even more?
By
all means cherish your work, your hobbies and your passions. You love them and
they are important.
But
when you do your planning (or re-planning) and set your goals, whatever time of
the year it may be, it pays to be a bit softer and kinder towards yourself.
Start with focusing on the things that make you feel good, peaceful, happy, inspired,
abundant and loved. And maybe – just maybe – go a bit slower as well.
From
my soul to yours,
David.